The Eulogy of Oliver “Ferdinand” Forbes

Over the weekend, my dog Oliver passed away. Only a few months back, my other dog Tache was the first to go, and so I’d like to take a minute to say some things about Ollie:

1. Ollie had some flatulence problems, but I loved him anyways.

Like, really bad. He could clear a room like nobody’s business. It actually made me a little proud, when I wasn’t gagging or running into the next room for some fresh air.

2. Ollie liked to eat freshly planted flowers. Like Ferdinand the Bull.

He actually used to really piss off my mom, who would plant beautiful roses only to have Oliver come running into the house a few minutes later chewing on their dead carcasses.

3. Ollie wasn’t very dainty.

Unless you count inhaling food (along with a couple of your fingers if you tried to hand-feed him).

4. Ollie could be a bit of an asshole.

He used to wait until my other dog, Tache, was fast asleep on her pillow before walking over and sitting directly on top of her head. I like to think it was because he found it entertaining–as did I, Ollie.

5. Oliver was one of my best friends.

I used to lie awake at night, waiting to fall asleep but unable to because Tache was hogging the entire bed. So sometimes, I’d get out of bed in the middle of the night and lay next to Ollie. He’d lick my ear and didn’t mind if I shared his pillow as long as I scratched his belly for a few minutes. Whenever I had a nightmare, or was pissed off or sad, Oliver would let me hug him and pour my heart out. And that’s what really matters.

I’m gonna miss you, buddy. You were truly one of a kind.

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Author: The Florence Diaries

Living in Florence means always looking out for mystery poo on the sidewalk.

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