Hey everyone, it’s me again. Zola. I’ve just taken a break from sleeping 19 hours a day to share with you all a little of what it’s like being me. Pretty much, a dog’s life in Florence is stellar. I mean, you’re living in the Tuscan countryside with all the rolling hills and vineyards to run through. Or, if you’re like me, you’ve livin’ large in the historical center of the Renaissance. Yeah, I’ve peed on the Ponte Vecchio before–how cool is that?
Anyway, my day usually looks like this:
6:00 AM–Wake up. Look up at owner’s bed, see if they are both still sleeping. Yep. They’re asleep. Guess that means I can go back to sleep too.
7:30 AM–Wake up. Owner’s alarm has gone off, yet she has hit the snooze button at least 3 times. Must check if she is alive. Jump up on bed, wag tail in owner’s face. *Farts* Whoops. Excellent. Must lick bum. Now lick owner’s face. Okay good, now she’s awake. Now it’s time for breakfast.
8:00 AM–YUM BREAKFAST. I love breakfast. I love food. Food is the best part of my day. *Bang head in metal bowl to wake everybody else up* Slurp slurp goooodd…….
8:15 AM–IT’S TIME TO PLAY!! Run 100 mph and fling myself onto my owner’s bed. Immediately tunnel under the blankets and begin biting owner’s hands. *GROWL* I AM KING OF BLANKET MOUNTAIN!!!
8:20 AM–Enough playtime. Back to sleep. I love sleep. ZZzzzzz……
11:55 AM–Wake up next to owner’s belly. Nuzzle nuzzle sooo warm. Uh oh, I gotta pee. I GOTTA PEE I GOTTA PEE I GOTTA PEE I GOTTA….
12:15 PM–Ahhhhhhhhh………sigh. Relief. Ok, now let’s go pee on 10 million other things. Yay I love outside!!
12:30 PM–Ooh, this corner smells good. Ooh, but so does this one too. Do I detect a hint of grass in that poo? Is that a….another DOG?
12:32 PM–OH CRAP! ITS ANOTHER DOG!! IS IT A BIG DOG?? OH NO, IT IS!! RUN AWAYYYYYY!!!!!
12:33 PM–DOESN’T MY OWNER SEE HOW SCARY THIS BIG DOG IS?? WHY ISN’T SHE RUNNING?? IT’S GONNA EAT US!!!
12:34 PM–Oh okay, now she’s just petting its head and talking to it in that same stupid voice she uses for me. Hey, wait, that’s MY special voice! Only I’M a good girl!! Get away you big stupid other dog! *Shoves self in between Owner and other dog who’s hogging all her attention*
1:00 PM-5:30 PM–*Snooze*
5:45 PM–YUM DINNER! I love dinner. I love food. Food is the best part of my day. *Bang head in metal bowl to tell everybody else how much i love food* Slurp slurp goooodd…….
6:00 PM–Ok, now it’s time for a bath. *Commence licking butthole, then lick owner in face*
6:15 PM— Bathtime done. I GOTTA GO PEE I GOTTA GO PEE I GOTTA GO….
6:30 PM–Ahhhhhhhhh………sigh. Relief. Ok, now let’s go pee on 10 million other things. Yay I love outside!!
7:00 PM— Something smells good…is it food? Better go check the kitchen to find out.
8:00 PM–Ok, I’ve been sitting here patiently for almost an hour. Maybe if I sit reaaally close to my owner, she’ll drop something. Maybe it’s cheese. I love cheese…mmmmm…
8:30 PM— Uh oh, I think I ate too much cheese. I GOTTA POO I GOTTA POO I GOTTA….
8:45 PM–Ahhhhhhhh……sigh. Relief. Uh oh, wait. Didn’t get all the poo out the first time. *Scoots butt along sidewalk, smearing poo all over bum* Ahhhhhhhh……sigh. That’s better. LET’S SEE HOW FAST I CAN RUN AWAY FROM MY OWNER NOW BEFORE I CHOKE MYSELF ON MY LEASH!!!
9:00 PM— Man, that was a long day. Time for sleep. I love sleep. Sleep is the best thing ev….*Zzzzzzzzz………..*